Christian Grey Poetry
i hate my life
my mom is a bitch
in fact she was
now i like to
fuck brunette girls too
my therapist sees
wrong with me
i am too
i am too
i am too
for my shirt
take yours off
or else i will
under the guise of
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
The saddest thing is that most people will find this humorous instead of serious. We’re standing right beside one another, and yet we text others instead of actually speaking to each other. Have you ever sat down and thought about how uncomfortable we now are around one another that it’s so bad that we literally pretend to be texting someone when we’re not, just so it’s less awkward to stand beside people? What’s supposed to strengthen our bonds has taken away from it. It’s time to take our faces out of our phones and notice the world, give a kind gesture to someone, and go SEE your friends instead of just texting them.
I’m going to let that sink in.
Ah yes let me just up and leave school right in between my classes so I can go see the friend 40 miles away that i’m currently texting instead of making idle chit chat with the people around me that I don’t particularly care for.
Fuck your pretentious shit.
"whines evil technology is making people antisocial its not real communication if its not face to face and im a pretentious self righteous shitbaby that asks random people on the street for the time and feels good about it"
SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING
SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery >O>” FUCK YOU MAN
This is a blessed post and that ringtone is the cutest thing bUT I CAN NEVER FIND THE FUCKING POsT FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS
at a hella cool castle
the groom channeled Thranduil and the Baratheons
the bridesmaids were elf maidens
the court jester and town crier were there
the cakes were gorgeous
luckily a friar was passing through town who was able to officiate (“mawwaige,” he said, “is what bwings us togevver today”)
the bride’s chariot was pulled by the most beautiful creature
unfortunately, as with all medieval weddings, there is the dragon problem
Signal boosting in case anyone needed to know this.
This is informative as heck. Show this to everyone!
This is actually some great info! Why can’t they teach this kind of thing in school??
Wow, I’ve taken health and sex ed three times during my educational process and never learned any of this. Thanks.
Definitely some important information here!
this is supa awesome. i do think it should be noted that side effects of EC *really* vary. when I took EC I didn’t have any symptoms whatsoever.
The more you know~